As a teenager, my friends told me I should become a social worker because I am a great listener. With little direction in my life I decided to study social work and haven't looked back!
Throughout my career I have been privileged to support children, young people and families through unbelievable hardship and injustice.
The stories of abuse and trauma were immense. Yet I realised I had a skill to hold their stories without judgement or shock.
As a youth justice worker, I believed parents and family were such an important part of the child's vulnerability. I became a parenting worker. But I could feel the resistance from parents. They didn't want to think about their situation or what support they needed.
I was eager to support them but far too naive.
My mum told me that parenting a teenager is like being a safety net under a trapeze artist. She had written this to me in my 16th birthday card.
So I grabbed this metaphor and turned it into a tightrope tool.
This analogy helped parents to think about what was making the tightrope higher for their child and who was helping them to be the safety net.
I wanted to know what parenting interventions support a child out of cycles of abuse and crime. So I embarked on a professional doctorate.
What I realised is that parents are dealing with their own traumas. With the added pressure of financial burdens, discrimination and often ongoing domestic and/or system abuse. Young people needed everyone to support them - and their family!
This looks at all the different reasons that lead to youth crime, violence, substance misuse or exploitation. I drew on research about the strengths that support young people and the parents - recognising just how hard the pressures of the real world can be.
This supports workers to recognise stress and overwhelm from their work and when they're losing balance. It helps them look at how their team or organisation is either making things wobbly or providing a strong foundation and safety net.
When I was 30, I was told I couldn't have children.
That's why I embarked on the professional path and wanted to help children in the worst circumstances to have the best parenting.
During my doctorate, I fell in love and miraculously became pregnant. I went from full time academic professional to being a full time mum
I was a wreck. So much stress and exhaustion. His vulnerability and constant need for me was both wondrous and paralysing.
I knew how to be a professional. I knew about parenting skills. But being a mum, with sleep exhaustion, was something else. I tried hard to do and be enough in every moment I could with him. I put every last drop of energy into giving him lots of love and different experiences.
He is now a teenager and I hope I have done enough (so far).
He is a beautiful talented human being. Funny, clever, artistic and kind.
Despite my professional success and getting into a routine of motherhood, I was not dealing with myself at all well.
I was overeating and binge drinking. That was my stress management. Frankly, it has been since I was a teenager. I had received training in Motivational Interviewing, Transactional Analysis, Systemic Family Therapy and many other modalities and yet I was always triggered into frustration.
Even after two years of therapy I couldn’t fully find peace in myself and never felt like I was doing enough - for anyone.
So this showed up in my behaviours...
Eating and drinking too much
Working too long and too late
Feeling guilty for wasting time away from my family
Staying up until 2am to just have some me-time
Getting easily frustrated and full of angst
Rushing everywhere and always late
Multitasking clumsily with a foggy head
Feeling academically clever but practically stupid
Making intense friendships but losing them because I couldn’t be fully present
I discovered a weight loss program that uses Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Also known as "tapping". This involves tapping with the finger tips on various acupuncture meridian points, which are connected to the nervous system. While I was aware of acupuncture and reflexology, I had never heard of Tapping before.
I was skeptical about what the program could do to help me. I was convinced there was something wrong with me, deep inside. I just wanted to lose a bit of weight and feel ok with myself.
With personal 1:1 coaching sessions and learning powerful deep emotional clearing techniques, I gained so much more!!
All of sudden I had more focus and inner calm.
I remained with the program and completed the coach certification and became a coach for the organisation. I have also gone on to become an EFT qualified practitioner. The sessions I deliver have supported so many people to create huge successes in their personal transformation.
Tapping and coaching has supported me to:
Heal from past trauma triggers
Overcome limiting beliefs
Unearth a deeper and calmer resilience
Feel an inner peace and grounding like never before
Say 'no' to unreasonable and competing demands
As a result I am able to:
Leave work on time, knowing I have done enough
Relish in every 5 minutes of giggles / hugs with my son
Enjoy my son and husband's company so much more
I have more sleep and more time and I can be fully present in the precious moments
My mission is to work with high achieving professionals seeking personal wellbeing to FIND BALANCE as a
PARENT / CARER
I support ANYONE struggling with competing demands to cultivate inner peace, and build their core strengths so that they feel empowered to confidently tackle any challenges that come their way.
The tightrope framework is now a personal tool for anyone who wants to:
fall asleep each night knowing
"I am enough"
have an inner calm to face an array of challenges
feel strong and solid
with a lightness of heart
wake up with a peaceful knowing
The tightrope framework is both a mindset for approaching life and a practical workbook to support your goals. You will learn to recognise that 'falling off' is part of the journey and you will appreciate the source of your triggers and find peace in healing them.
The guiding prompts have been chosen based on a wide source of research and studies. The action work-sheets support reflection and discovery around where in your life you have balance, trauma, stress and support.
The magic is with the accompanying EFT practice, to support a truly inner healing journey of overcoming limiting beliefs and behaviours.
This is my life’s work and I feel so privileged to share it with you.